Animal
by Ravyntree
Summary: So what if you can see the darkest side of me..? Help me believe, it's not the real me...
1. Introduction

_I can't escape this hell, so many times I've tried…_

His gaze fell upon the first thing that crossed his path; a small yellow finch. He paused to look at the bird, leaning down slowly and grasping a stone in his hand. He vaguely registered what he was doing, but didn't even try to stop himself. Not this time; it had grown too strong for him to control, he always got hurt when he tried.

The bird hopped across the ground, tilting her head this way and that as she searched for crumbs and seeds. She looked up at the being a moment, chirruped, and picked up a seed, cracking it's shell and eating it as the alien straightened and cocked his arm back slowly. With a snap of his wrist, he flicked the stone at the small creature and it was dead.

Zim quickly moved on, pushing away his feelings about the bird.

When he reached his home, he let himself in and locked the door, unable to escape the image of the small Earth-creature, all feathers and, now, blood, on the sidewalk. There were so many more images just the same… 0ther creatures, people, too. Not that he cared quite so much about the humans, but some… some were innocent. Just as the bird was innocent.

Quiet was all that met him at the door. No GIR. No computer. Nothing.

The Irken crossed the room slowly, having nothing to really do but exist. And even that was becoming a chore. But he could do nothing about it, so he didn't try. He bore the scars of the last time he had tried, and he had hurt it. Hurt it badly. But not enough..

The house was dark as he turned on a few of the lanterns he had gotten from the human stores. No sunlight came in from the boarded-up windows. He had done that last week. He couldn't stand seeing the birds, the squirrels, the people.. They drove him insane. No, he was already insane. They drove him to murder.

He shouldn't have left the house, he knew it. But he had been there a week, and had run out of battery for the lanterns. He had to go out. He had to rationalize why he went out.

As he began changing the batteries in the dying lanterns, he tried to flush the images from his mind by planning out his day.

"Let's see.." he mumbled aloud to himself, something he did often these days. "I can read, clean the house, take a nap.. Yes, that's a good plan." He set the lanterns back up on their posts around the house and started towards his small bookshelf. He didn't make it half-way there.

A spasm rocked him and he stumbled against the wall to steady himself. He grabbed onto the arm of the couch as he was driven to his knees. Something like a snarl escaped his throat. His back bent, curling him over and he released the couch to fall onto his side. He twisted and writhed on the floor, hands curling into claws, antennae twisting painfully. His magenta eyes ran crimson, black streaks tearing down his cheeks from the sick tears he cried. The Irken crawled towards the wall and slammed his head against it, bracing himself as he contorted more, still on his knees. He shook his head, rubbing it against the wall painfully, and placed his palms against the floor, forcing his hands flat, but to no avail. His fingers curled again, forcing his weight against the ball of his hand as the tips of his fingers scraped as claws against the floor. With another snarl, he reached up and snatched at the couch, tearing a hole in it's side.

The feelings slowly began to disperse and he soon slumped into a heap against the side of the couch, panting and clutching himself. It was getting worse, getting worse and he could do nothing to stop it.


	2. First Encounter

_I'm still caged inside.. Somebody get me through this nightmare…_

Another day, another horrendous memory etched in his mind for the rest of his too-long life.

Blood, always more blood, and meat this time. Flesh and muscle and bone, all disordered together like they were never meant to be. He pushed dirt into the hole with one of his PAK's mechanical legs, staring blankly in at what used to be a dog. A pet. A child's companion.

He had watched humans cry, and he didn't understand such action. Irkens didn't cry; they weren't capable of such a thing. They felt grief and sorrow, pain and suffering, just as humans did, but they expressed it in anger. They warred and fought, threw hysterical fits until they felt better.

But Zim felt none of that. He was just sad, and he had no way of venting what he felt. His entire being drooped as he settled a patch of grass over the grave and turned away, keeping his eyes locked forward to avoid the multitude of other graves in his backyard. Fresh dirt littered the yard and he did have to step carefully so as not to sink into any of the occupied holes. He paused at the side of the house, just before turning into the front yard. A small pile of stones marked what had once been his own companion, his dog of sorts. He frowned and nudged a displaced rock back onto the grave before hurrying back into the house before too many memories returned.

Zim locked the door behind himself and began turning on lanterns as the sun was sinking too low to see by. Just as he flicked the last on, a sound. A knock at the door. Who the hell..?

He glanced over his shoulder at the door and frowned, not wanting to answer but knowing he had to because.. because he knew who was at the door.

'_Better now than later.. when I'm worse,'_ he thought as he stepped to the door, unlocking it and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

"Come in," he called. The door opened slowly and, just as he thought, Dib peeked around the corner cautiously.

"Zim?"

"Don't come any closer."

The human pushed the door open and looked at him from the entrance, head tilted with that classic smirk.

"What do you want?"

"Haven't seen you at Skool for awhile, and you haven't been out of your house much. What's up, alien?"

"Leave, Dib," Zim sighed, eyes drooping irritatedly.

"Why? What's going on with you?" Dib stepped into the house, glancing at the lanterns and boarded windows.

"Leave!" the Invader snarled, backing away quickly and glaring from beneath one of his lights. Dib looked at him, drawn by the tone in his voice, his smirk sliding to a frown.

"Zim? What's going on? What are you planning?"

"It's none of your business."

Dib glanced around again, then started towards the alien, wondering what was happening. Zim retreated more until he found himself backed with a wall. He glanced around for escape, knowing what the human would bring out if he got close enough. Zim could already smell him.. and he could feel the scent stirring the thing within him, awakening it.

"Dib, get away from me!" he shouted, touching the wall behind him with a hand to steady himself.

"Is something wrong with you?" Dib asked, pressing closer until he was mere feet away. Zim shook his head and looked down, shutting his eyes as he tried to control himself. When he looked up again, Dib was close, dangerously close, and peering at him. The Invader quivered and started to say something else when his shaking hands curved, curling into claws again. He felt his inner working quicken, his breath catching in his throat as he tried to stop it. He bared his teeth and leapt at the man, barreling him to the floor and pinning him. Dib stared up at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. Zim snarled over him, fingertips digging into his shoulders as he held him against the ground. He bit his tongue, reeling in the sudden aggression as he had learned to do. When he felt it return he bit himself again, harder, drawing blood. The taste was distracting and he released Dib, shifting to the side and crouching against the floor. He spat, staining the floor in his blood and shook his head quickly and incessantly.

"Zim..?"

"Go," he hissed, not ceasing in his head-shaking. Dib got to his feet and hesitated, watching him uncertainly.

"Get out of my house and don't you ever come here again!" Zim roared, snapping his head up. Dib stared, taking in the alien's dark eyes and the black liquid that ran from them, then quickly turned and fled. Zim rose after he was well away and slammed the door, locking it and pressing his back against it as he breathed a sigh. He felt quite again, able to breathe on his own without fear of losing himself.

After a few more minutes of relishing the feeling of control, he stalked across the room to lie on the couch. Another day, he thought, but he'd already had his blood for this day. Luckily for Dib.


	3. Second Encounter

_I can't control myself… So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

Dib spent most of the next day reflecting on what has occurred with Zim. It was unusual, to say the least. Not at all like what he had seen of the alien the past several years he'd known him. And that liquid, those tears.. black, that could just be the usual Irken thing, but he'd never seen Zim cry. What was there to be upset about? Dib shook his head as he walked, trying to clear his mind enough to puzzle it all out. He paused when he came to something, a dead bird. He stepped past it, not giving a second though to how or why it had died.

He reached his destination far before he had intended to and stopped, looking up at the house for any sign of movement. It was growing dark out, and he could see the faint glow between the cracks of the boards on the windows. He didn't understand what it meant.

Moving to the side yard, he looked over the house for any entry point other than the two he was aware of. He passed GIR's grave without notice, but when he came to the backyard Dib was forced to take pause. He squinted at the dirt piles and scattered grass. Stepping carefully, as if they were land mines, he found the concealed entrance to Zim's underground lab and pried it up easily with a stone. Sliding inside, he crawled backwards through the emergency exit until he touched foot in the lab.

The man brushed a bit of dirt from his shirt as he looked around the pitch blackness. He searched his pockets for the mini-LED light he had.

""""""""

Zim shivered on the couch, the beast within him picking up that scent again. He curled in, unaware as he was changing. It didn't take as long this time, and soon he was crawling towards the entrance to his lab, hands scraping the floor with each move as he partially dragged one stubbornly-uncooperative leg behind him.

""""""""

Dib clicked on the dim light, shining it around as he gained a grasp on where exactly he was. He moved into the main part of the lab, seeking out anything that could inform him on what had happened. He froze at an unearthly scraping sound and clasped a hand around the light, throwing the room into absolute dark again.

Zim slid down the empty lift shaft, using the mechanical legs to do so. Sparks jumped from the tips as he made his way down. When he reached the lift itself, he drove his feet hard against it, breaking the cable and sending it crashing to the floor with a hideous sound. Dropping to the edge of the shaft, he clung onto the ceiling a moment, antennae twitching as he scented the air. Dark eyes scanned the black room, just barely able to make out the vague shapes of his computer and chair in the lightlessness.

Dib crouched silently, eyes wide in fear at the sounds. He clicked the light off slowly in his hand.

Zim snapped his gaze towards the sound, baring his teeth in a grin and dropping to the floor, knocking over a filing cabinet as he did so.

Slipping the light back into his pocket, Dib reached behind him and started to shift backwards from the lab, inch at a time, feeling for anything behind him that might make noise. He tried to control his breath, fearing any sound would give him away. He could hear Zim moving towards him, the 'tink' sound the loudest in the room as his mechanical legs struck the floor.

Dib's hand brushed something cold. He froze, panic clawing at his stomach, but quickly began feeling for the edge of what seemed like a wall. The metallic sounds grew closer, stopping every now and again as Zim scented the air to confirm what he knew was there.

Just as the man found the edge and was to move again, something wet dripped onto his head. He looked up instinctively, unable to see. A 'tink' sounded just beside him quite the sudden, surprising him nearly into falling over. He dared not move, holding his breath as something else fell on him from above, soaking through his jeans in an unpleasant way. It burned his skin and he bit his tongue, fighting the urge to brush at it. Growling befell his ear and he knew he was fucked.

Taking the light from his pocket slowly, he held it up and clicked it on.

Jet-black eyes, narrowed with tiny points of fury red stared at him from a distorted face spider-webbed with black veins. Teeth exaggerated beyond any recognizable point dripped black foam. A snarl grew slowly from deep in the throat of what Dib could only guess had once been Zim. Bubbles formed at the corners of torn lips, popping with disgusting sounds and splashing Dib's face with more liquid.

He stared at the creature in horror. It stared back, teeth working against each other in malicious thoughtfulness. A roar suddenly sprung from its stretching jaws, misting Dib in the black substance. He threw the light across the room, drawing the thing's attention for just a moment. Dib scrambled back, turning on hands and knees and feeling his way desperately down the hall. Searing pain stabbed down deep into his leg and he screamed, feeling bone crack and muscle tear. Tink. Tink. Tink.

Zim hovered behind him, one metal tip driven into Dib's leg. The alien pulled him back, tearing more muscle, spilling more blood. Dib dug his useless human nails against the floor desperately, screaming. The pressure was lifted from his leg and he could feel it bleeding freely now, blood no doubt spilling from an opened artery. A moment of quiet, the only sound that of those teeth clicking together. He could feel the burning alien substance dripping onto his back. He started crawling forward, tears stinging his eyes at the pain of it all. Cold metal slid against his side and turned him over to his back. Zim crouched over him, faces coming so close Dib could feel the Invader's antennae whispering over his cheeks. He tried to turn his face away but the alien snarled and grabbed under his chin, forcing him to stare up at him in the dim light cast by his little LED. Claws dug into his cheeks and throat from a shaking hand.

He reached up and struck at Zim, doing his best to fend him off but not even having an effect enough to draw the monster's attention. Another hand drove against his chest firmly, crushing the breath from him as he exhaled. Claws dug into his skin painfully, the hands that gripped shaking with overwhelming power and force. His heart squeezed in terror, just beneath the driving claws.

Dib trembled, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes unheeded as he faced his death. The alien opened his jaws, sharp teeth sliding against another and each, the black dripping onto his face and burning his cheeks and lips. Eyes closed, he couldn't hold back a breathless whimper. He felt his head grow light as he shivered from cold, fear not even an issue as he felt death come swiftly after sensing his blood loss.

He tried once more to gasp, the pressure on his chest enough to crack ribs, and then it was over. He knew no more as life slid away from him.

In some ways, it was merciful..


End file.
